Naruto: The Twilight Choronicles
by FlawlessCowboy2552
Summary: An accident during the Elemental Training strands an amnesiac Naruto in hyrule durring the early events of Twilight Princess.  Part 1 of 3
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If either me or Josh owned either series, do you think this would be posted for free?

Anyhow, This is the project that has eaten up the vast majority of my time since the last time I posted on my other story. It's being co-authored with my beta, who doesn't have a profile here, but was an English major in the Honors Program at my university (Go Colonels!) hopefully with the two of us working on this, it shouldn't stall out like LTTA did. And boy do we have some truly original concepts planned. I can guarantee that at least three of them will never be expected. lets see if anyone recognizes them.

Prolouge: Of Despair, Chaos, and Unpredictable Ninjas

"They're breaking through the door!" yelled a guard as he and his subordinates tried to brace a massive stone door with the weight of their armored bodies.

This massive door was the main entrance to the throne room of Hyrule Castle, the current seat of power for Hyrule's current monarch, Princess Zelda—the princess of destiny.

"It's not holding! Put all your weight into it!" shouted the guard to his subordinates. "We can't let them break through these doors!"

Yet, the guards' efforts were soon proven vain. The doors they so desperately tried to brace were rendered useless as a sudden burst of _pure power_ sent said doors airborn in a grand maneuver that threw more than a few of the guards to the walls of the room, leaving the doors aside to stand like twin, stone monuments in disrepair.

It was then that a man in a set of armor that looked more like a jester's outfit than a form of battle protection strode into the room with his sword drawn, followed closely by a veritable mob of dark shadowy beasts with metallic-like plating covering their heads.

"Ready to surrender, _princess_?" the armored man sneered.

The guards stood up again, their courage faltering even as they turned their shaking spears towards the intruder and his terrifying beasts.

"Surrender now princess and I promise to be a gracious conqueror and spare the pitiful fools of this ugly land of light you love so much. If not, then their blood will be on your hands."

With a gesture from his free hand, the conquering intruder caused the guards' spears to be ripped out of their hands and cast aside. Then he remained still and silent, allowing the princess a moment to think over his proposition.

And think over this proposition she did.

_ How could this happen? _thought Zelda. _My father just died not even a month ago. I haven't even officially taken the throne yet, and now an army of shadow creatures have attacked from out of nowhere, leaving the castle and the rest of Hyrule on the verge of falling. No Hylian should have to suffer because of my weakness as a leader and the goddesses' unwillingness to help. I've been praying to them since this siege of shadows and twilight started, but there's still no answer, not even a hero. I guess for once the hero of legend won't be around to save the princess of destiny. I have to save as many as I can even if it means surrendering and giving up on such foolish notions as destiny…_

"You win Zant. I surrender," she stated to the man in the unusual set of armor.

The jester-looking armored man, apparently named Zant, only let out a loud belly laugh as acknowledgement to his victory. The only word that could accurately describe the effect the laugh seemed to have on the surroundings was cold. It made everyone who heard it feel cold with dread, a dread that only increased as the world's normal color scheme seemed to inexplicably drift more towards the red and orange in the light spectrum.

All of the people throughout the region, with the exception of Zelda, Zant, and Zant's beasts, seemed to disappear, being replaced by floating green balls of energy as this unnatural twilight settled as a herald to all that Hyrule had fallen.

* * *

"Well this is no good," said a woman more beautiful and fair than any mortal could be. This beautiful and fair woman was currently sitting in a chair, looking at a miniature version of the events in Hyrule Castle being projected onto the surface of the table near where she was sitting. "I'm going to have to fix this somehow. I just know it."

The woman sighed in exasperation. "This is really getting redundant. Perhaps if the Hero had some help this time he could actually finish the job and show how wrong that silly princess is for giving up hope. Honestly, what gives her the right to decide when things are utterly hopeless?" The woman sighed again. "Oh well. I guess when you want something done right, you really do have to do it yourself."

"Now to see if Sis and her friends will let me change things up a little," she muttered to herself as she pushed away from the table and stood to walk away. Even in her current state of annoyance and frustration, she moved with a grace that would make the most graceful of people look like bumbling idiots.

* * *

"He's still at it, isn't he," remarked Kakashi to Yamato as he walked up to the temporary Ex-ANBU. Said temporary Ex-ANBU was currently sitting cross-legged in the center of a seal array made up of wooden poles arranged in a rough pentagon. The seal array was located on the edge of a field filled with thousands of identical copies of the same blonde-haired ninja who all appeared to be trying to make what looked for all the world like a Fuma Shuriken made entirely out of chakra

"He has an unreal amount of stamina when compared to even a kage," replied Yamato. "He also has a habit of working longer than anyone I've ever seen."

"That's just how he is. Once he sets a goal for himself only complete physical exhaustion or the threat of imminent death can get him to even temporarily stop pursuing it," observed Kakashi, unknowingly answering Yamato's unasked question about how long Naruto will keep this up. The only reply from Yamato was a grunt of agreement as a small smirk of admiration for the blonde's drive to succeed slowly formed on his face.

* * *

_So I now have permission to meddle, but I still need someone to send, _thought the woman. At a mental command, the display on the table shifted to a list of possible candidates.

"Well now, this is interesting," remarked the woman when she spotted a name on the list. "I think I've found my unwitting helper! Time to show why some dimensions call me Murphy's Daughter!"

* * *

_This stupid jutsu just doesn't want to fully stabilize! _thought Naruto, as yet another group of three clones blew up when the attempted jutsu destabilized.

Naruto had been at his present training for days, but that perfect balance of shape and elemental manipulation still eluded him. The only thing keeping him from giving up hope at this point was that he had at least made enough progress to get the jutsu to form. The problem was maintaining the level of manipulation necessary to keep the jutsu from self destructing after a few seconds.

Yet another group went pop when yet another failed jutsu self-destructed, further frustrating Naruto.

It was at this point that Murphy's Law struck hard and things went catastrophically wrong.

One of Naruto's clones, in its frustration, lost control of itself to Kyuubi, who immediately began to throw its chakra into the clone.

Yamato, upon noticing that one of the clones had been taken over, sent a number of what looked like rather thick tree branches at the clone. The branches proceeded to encircle and capture the clone, forcing back the beast's chakra.

Unfortunately for all involved, the commotion surrounding the clone prevented everyone present from noticing that the real Naruto's control over the Kyuubi's chakra was also slipping. The Kyuubi hadn't survived for centuries by being stupid and letting opportunities go, and it knew an opportunity when it saw one. Deciding it would rather not get suppressed while trying to influence the clone, it withdrew is chakra from the clone and sent it straight into the real Naruto, causing the clone to dispel.

It was then that Kakashi and Yamato finally noticed the real Naruto's situation. Knowing that Yamato couldn't switch targets quick enough to neutralize the now chakra-cloaked Naruto, Kakashi threw a kunai at the real Naruto, thinking him to be a clone easily dispelled, thereby dissipating the Kyuubi's chakra before it could get out of control. Fortunately for Naruto, he saw the kunai coming and deflected it using a kunai of his own.

After the exchange between Kakashi and Naruto, Yamato was finally able to switch targets and sent the same branches from the now dispelled Kyuubi-influenced clone at the real Naruto.

Unfortunately for all involved, this was when things went from merely being catastrophically wrong to completely FUBAR as four things happened nearly simultaneously.

First, the frustration from days of hard work with no apparent progress finally caught up with Naruto, and the need to vent his anger coupled with the apparent attack from Kakashi caused Naruto to lash out with his own attack, a chakra arm in similar shape to the Kyuubi's claw that rushed forth from Naruto's own extended arm and chakra-cloaked body.

Second, the branches that Yamato sent at Naruto finally got to him and began the suppression process, resulting in the third thing: Kyuubi cutting off the flow of its chakra to preserve its strength.

Fourth, seeing the chakra arm heading towards him, Kakashi realized he couldn't simply dodge it or Yamato would be the one hit and probably fatally injured.

Realizing he had no other means to stop the arm of chakra still coming at them despite the lack of new chakra from the Kyuubi, Kakashi quickly pulled out his Mangekyo Sharingan and used his _Kamui_ technique in an attempt to send the chakra that comprised the attack to an alternate dimension via the temporary black hole the technique creates.

However, since Naruto's chakra and the Kyuubi chakra in the attack were in essence semi-fused because of the suppressing technique Yamato was employing, the black hole ended up getting super charged by the semi-fused chakra, resulting in it sucking in Naruto himself as well. The last thing Naruto saw before everything went black was the absolutely Gob-smacked expression somehow apparent on Kakashi's masked face as he realized that he had just essentially banished Naruto to another dimension.

"Kakashi…" began Yamato, an uncomprehending look on his face while his eyes never left the spot that Naruto had been standing in.

"Yea?" replied the cycloptic Jounin as he began to realize the true enormity of his mistake.

"You did remember what the catch to the Suppression technique is, right?" asked Yamato.

"There's a catch?" Kakashi deadpanned.

The technique suppresses demonic chakra by purifying and fusing it with the chakra of the demon's host, making the purified demonic chakra part of the host's own chakra. It forces the demon to choose between fighting and getting destroyed or severing itself from the chakra being suppressed like Kyuubi just did…" stated Yamato, leaving the rest the explanation up to Kakashi's imagination.

"And since the Kyuubi's chakra and Naruto's were indistinguishable from each other, My _Kamui_ ended up sucking in both chakra's, plus the chakras' source," finished Kakashi as comprehension of what just happened finally dawned on him. "We are _so _dead."

"How so? It _was _just an honest mistake." questioned Yamato.

Turning to Yamato, Kakashi gave him a look that screamed - _Are you stupid? - _and said "But how do we tell that to the Hokage?"

Yamato blanched as he realized just how dire his situation had truly become. "You're right. We are _so _dead."

* * *

AN: so yeah, in case anyone was wondering who that woman was, she is a minor, but crucial OC by the Name of Destiny, the little sister of Farore, who will be popping up from time to time to move the plot along.

Also, we struggled long and hard on just how to get Naruto warped into Hyrule and not make the method seem like a total cop out, but i'm not quite sure if we totally succeeded. let us know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If either me or my co-author owned either series, we would be more rich than Bill Gates. since we are not that rich, we obviously do not own either one.

* * *

Chapter 2 – Why is this Plant Trying to Eat Me?

A loud rumbling roar pierced the darkness that had shrouded Naruto's mind, causing him to stir. His movement created ripples in the puddle of water he found himself laying in, a puddle he didn't quite remember falling asleep in. After a few stirrings, some water splashed on his face, causing him to realize that even if he didn't feel like it, he should return to full consciousness. With great weariness, he opened his eyes, only to see a massive maw made out of plant-like material snapping at him, reaching ever closer to him in anticipation of making a meal out of him.

Any sane person would have only one response to such a sight, and Naruto proved that he was indeed a sane person as he sprang to his feet and jumped away from the monstrous mouth while screaming like a little girl. His screech of a scream seemed to startle the monster trying to make Naruto its lunch, allowing Naruto's mind a chance to catch up with his body and attempt to process the situation that he found himself in, and when Naruto finished processing the situation, it was then that he came to a disturbing revelation about his current predicament. Not only could he not remember how he came to be here, or even where here was for that matter, he also couldn't remember anything but his own _name._

"Heads up! It's coming back!" yelled out a voice that sounded like a guy in his late teens. Turning to the source of the warning, Naruto spotted a blond haired man wearing a green hat with a matching tunic that covered a shirt of chain mail and wielding a wooden shield and a metal sword. Instantly dubbing the stranger as "Green Boy" in his head, Naruto followed Green Boy's line of sight and spotted the plant monster once again lunging at him with is jaws spread wide enough for Naruto to see its strange tongue, a tongue that was strange because it had an eye for its tip, an eye that stared at Naruto as if he were some delicious morsel perfect for eating.

Despite the fact that his head couldn't remember anything, Naruto's instincts and muscles responded in the way they had been trained to do, causing Naruto to reflexively grab a Kunai out of the pouch tied to his leg while leaping to the side and then letting the kunai fly at the monster's head as it passed by him. More out of luck than design, the kunai proceeded to fly straight at the monster's tongue and grazed the hardened bark of its lips, resulting in a slight trajectory change that sent the kunai towards the tongue. The kunai then bounced off the tongue and ricocheted off the roof of the beast's maw into a spinning fall that cut the exposed eyeball as the weapon passed, leaving a long gash along the backside of the vulnerable organ.

Meanwhile, off balance from his reflexive strike, Naruto was smacked in the back as the creature reared back with a nearly deafening roar of pain. Now flying through the air upside down towards the canopy of trees, Naruto managed to plant his feet on the solid wooden surface of a thick branch and propel himself back towards the ground, flipping over to land on his feet in a crouch, an almost perfect completion to his instinctive recovery.

As Naruto stood back up, getting into a stance that felt natural to him, the monster, which by now had stopped thrashing, glared at him as if to say_ You're going to die now._

"I think you made him angry," remarked 'Green Boy', his voice dripping with sarcasm. Almost as if in response to the snide comment, two more heads sprouted forth from the pool in front of the creature. They then proceeded to lunge at both 'Green Boy' and Naruto.

"Yup, definitely angry." If the remark before was dripping with sarcasm, then this one was swimming in it. Before 'Green Boy' could continue with anything else, the area surrounding Naruto and him was suddenly consumed in a whirlwind of swirling bark and flashing steel as the plant monster once again attempted to eat them.

In the midst of the chaos Naruto heard a loud whooping sound. Reacting to the noise, on pure reflex he let loose a paper-wrapped kunai at the source of the noise. It wasn't until after he had already committed to the throw that Naruto saw that the noise's source was a large white baboon.

The baboon saw the kunai and tried to jump off the lip of the hollowed out log it was standing on to the vine rope that was hanging across nearby to avoid getting hit. Unfortunately in the process, it accidentally dropped the cargo it was carrying—a Bombling, a creature that was both insect and bomb. The kunai collided with the Bombling and the exploding tag attached to the knife went off, causing the Bombling to also explode midair. The resulting blast snapped the vine rope loose and propelled the baboon, which had managed to grab the vine before the explosion, across the room. The unfortunate creature soon crashed into the hollowed out log on the other side of the room. Quickly staggering back to its feet, the baboon gave off another frenzied whoop before turning tail and running away.

During the baboon's failed attempt to help out, the plant monster had reared its main head back again before trying another assault at its targets on the ground. Yet before it got the chance to make another pass, it too was caught close enough to the blast to send it crashing down to the ground, stunned and right in front of Naruto.

Taking advantage of the monster's dazed state after the near-comical sequence of events, Naruto took out another unwrapped kunai and wasted no time in plunging it deep into the eye of the monster's tongue, once again causing the monster to rear back in pain, with the kunai still embedded in its vital spot.

Green Boy's quick gaze managed to allow him to keep track of the surprising events caused by the baboon's whooping and make enough sense of the chaos to formulate a plan.

"Hey! Listen! Think you could knock it down again, Blondie?" he yelled out to Naruto, while still tracking the plant monster currently thrashing around in pain with his unwavering eyes.

"My name's Naruto Uzumaki, not Blondie, and I can't without a distraction, Green Boy," Naruto shouted back.

"I can cover that, but I need one of those knives and a piece of that exploding paper," replied 'Green Boy' "And one more thing, call me Link."

Naruto backed away from the spot the monster's head had last landed and towards the tunic-clad swordsman that was running to him. He held out the requested tools for Link who took them from Naruto and stashed them into a pocket on his tunic. Naruto then stood back and watched as the swordsman he only knew as Link pulled out a slingshot and loaded a small pumpkin seed into it. Immediately guessing that his newly made ally was going to try to draw the creature's attention to himself, Naruto started to slide off to the side to get out of the area the creature was about to turn into a kill zone.

The swordsman then let loose his grip on the sling of his slingshot and sent the seed flying straight and true to his target—the now calming monster. The seed hit its mark right on the proverbial nose and struck the kunai still stuck in the creature's eye. While it didn't cause any real damage, it did accomplish exactly what he wanted it to—successfully make him the monster's number one priority.

In a renewed frenzy, the monster counterattacked by sending its less vulnerable secondary heads at him. It looped both of them around and sent them at Link for another pass, ready to shred him into plant chow.

However, Link still proved to be too agile for the creature as he spun out of the way of the first head and right into the path of the second. He raised his shield to block just as the second head reached him. The head collided with the raised wooden shield and knocked him back towards the first head. Link then turned to the first head and brought up his sword for a two handed swing. His powerful slash and cleaved straight through the first head, causing the now severed vine to snap back upwards, dragging Naruto—who had grabbed the vine out of reflex to prevent it from smacking him in the face when it had came near him—with it.

Instinctively using the whipping vine as a spring board, Naruto catapulted himself up into the air above the main head, and threw two exploding kunai into the top of the head as he passed over it. The explosions knocked the creature down, once again stunning it. Then, after Naruto's crazy onslaught, Link wasted no time in running forward with kunai in hand and stabbed it into the base of the exposed eye, delivering the ending blow with the weapon Naruto had given him.

For the third and last time, the creature raised its head back in pain and inadvertently smacking link into a nearby tree trunk, completely knocking the wind out of him, and clamping its mouth shut as , just in time for the exploding note attached to the kunai to go off. The concussive wave reverberated off the creature's mouth and back into the weapon, shattering it into shrapnel that shredded everything inside the monster's wooden mouth, completely destroying its vital spot. The creature then let out one final bellow as its entire body exploded into dust, leaving behind the source of the magic that had animated it, an oddly shaped piece of what was obviously an old artifact of some kind.

* * *

In the wake of the monster's destruction, Naruto landed right behind the artifact. Strangely drawn to the object that appeared to be more shadow than substance, Naruto stooped down for a closer look and prepared to grab it when another voice, one more feminine and musical than any he heard since he woke up in this strange place, rang out.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

Broken out of his trance, Naruto stood back up and stepped back. He looked around the room but couldn't see the voice's owner.

"Um, Link…did you just say something?" Naruto asked as he kept looking around, anticipating an attack from some unknown source.

Before Link could answer, his shadow started moving on its own, as if it were actually a liquid pool of darkness. Out of this pool, an imp-like creature with a stone helmet that extended downward over its left eye and upward into two horn-like extensions that spiraled inward at each tip, rose out from Link's shadow. Its lone showing eye, a black pupil surrounded by a red iris that seemed to float in a pool of orange that served for the rest of the eye, stared harshly at Naruto.

In response, all Naruto was capable of doing was gaping wide-jawed at the strange creature floating behind Link. He wasn't sure if it was its size, its helmet, its black and white coloring, or even the strange glowing tribal-like markings along its body that unnerved him the most. He tried to find his voice, but after everything that he just went through, he could only continue staring.

"You do realize that staring isn't going to make me disappear, right? Now I suggest you back away from what I've come for," Stated the now designated Imp.

"And just what the hell do you think gives you the right to take this? It was me and Link who fought that monster! We should be the ones who get that thing." Truthfully Naruto couldn't care less who got the thing in the end, but the fact that this newcomer thought that it could just waltz in and take all of the credit for killing that plant-thing just rubbed him the wrong way.

It was at that point that a groan came from Link, who was still on the ground from the hit he took from the plant monster. "You think you guys could stop arguing for a minute and come help me? I can hardly move and it feels like Epona just kicked my chest in." The statement was voiced in a deadpan kind of way that suggested that had he had the capability of doings so, he would be glaring at both of them.

"Ugh, Fine!" replied the clearly exasperated Imp as it floated over to Link and made some kind of gesture with its hands. As if by magic, both Link and Naruto were slowly turned into rapidly disappearing shadows that flew towards the sky. The Imp then floated over to the Artifact as its hair grow out and grabbed it, before the Imp itself turned into the same shadows that Link and Naruto had been transformed into and followed them into the air.

* * *

**an: Flawless: If we are ever this late (more than two weeks without posting) again, please shoot me a PM to bug us about it. just don't bug us this time since Josh is currently out of town until the 7th and is therefore unable to access a computer to help with the next chapter. aside from that, part of the problem of why it took so long was that I had a great idea on how to have the final fights go, and we needed to brainstorm on how to get the ending to still set up part 2 correctly. it will be epic. also, just fair warning, the next chapter will be pretty much pure exposition, but it is necessary to set up Naruto's characterization for this fic.**

Next time: Ordon Village, meet Naruto Uzumaki!


	3. HiHo! HiHo! Off to Ordon We Go!

Disclaimer: Seriously, why the hell am I not just saying that the only things we own are the concepts of how these two universes mesh together and only putting up a disclaimer when something changes that fact. Anyways, on with the show.

**Hi-Ho! Hi-Ho! Off to Ordon We Go!**

One moment Naruto was looking at the prone figure of Link, and then as he turned back towards the strange imp to renew their argument, his vision suddenly became clouded over by swirling masses of shadow. For a few seconds, he felt as if he were weightless and bodiless, with all his senses cut off from him. Yet when those few seconds were over, his senses came slamming back, with sight in particular being the last sense to return to normal, leaving him in a short state of sensory overload.

During his brief disorientation, through blurry vision, he noticed that he did indeed have a body once again. Then as his vision finally cleared, he was able to take his first good luck of his surroundings. He was standing on the edge of a small pool of water—part of a spring—that was beside a path that went deeper into what must've been a forest, but Naruto didn't pay much attention to anything else when he finally saw the prone figure of Link again just a few feet away. Yet, before he took a step towards him, Naruto suddenly felt very on guard.

He didn't know what was, but he did know that something was telling him that they were not alone, that this new presence was not that of the imp from earlier. Yet he couldn't see or hear anything that would cause him to feel so threatened. The only odd thing he felt was the strange burning feeling coming from his gut. He looked towards Link again and noticed that he seemed to be paying more attention to someone else than to his own injuries. Naruto wanted to ask what was going on, but his mouth wouldn't move. He tried to take a step again, and his burning gut feeling changed from being mildly uncomfortable to full-blown tortuous. He gritted his teeth to endure.

_What is with this pain? Ugh, can someone just tell me what's going on already?_

However, as suddenly as the strange sensation had consumed him, it left, with a few parting words that echoed across Naruto's mind—"_Beware the hidden darkness, young one._"

After taking a second to ponder the meaning such of a vague but ominous warning and then deciding he had absolutely no clue what was going on, he approached Link who was still in the same prone position.

"Hey Link."

No response.

"Link?" Naruto called out cautiously as he neared Link and walked around in front of him.

_His eyes are glazed over…that can't be good._

"Hello?" Naruto waved his hand in front of Link's face, but he still failed to get a reaction. With a deep breath bordering on panic, Naruto reached out and placed both of his hands on Link's shoulder.

"Hey, listen to me when I'm trying to get your attention! What in the world is going on and where are we now and what was up with that freaky experience just now!" yelled Naruto while giving Link a vigorous shake to snap him out of whatever trance had captured this green-clad warrior. Yet, even this wasn't enough to get a response from Link, but Naruto's antics were enough to get a response from someone else.

"Will you cut that out already? Stop before you cause him any more pain than you already have!"

Right after its outburst, the strange imp from before flew out of Link's shadow, and before Naruto could react, it flicked him in the center of his forehead, right above his eyebrow line. Yet for a reason he couldn't immediately figure out, the flick didn't hurt. Instead, all he felt was something pressing closer against his forehead for an instant. He hesitantly reached up and felt around his head. He discovered that he had some sort of headband on that had a metal plate positioned over the middle of his forehead. He felt some sort of engraving on the metal plate, and for the first time since he arrived in this strange world, if it was indeed the same strange world as before the out-of-body experience, he felt slightly curious about how he looked like. For some reason he couldn't remember, he couldn't remember exactly what he looked like or what he had on or why.

Instead, at this moment, the only thing he could drudge out of the near total blank that represented his memories was the face of some man with a scar across the bridge of his nose and his hair tied back congratulating him for something in some dark forest or the like. Then his memories took an abrupt jump to a high perspective of a village that Naruto could only claim to know by instinct—a village called Konoha.

Then after his brief trip into the not-so-empty void that was his memories, he knelt down to take a closer look into the spring's water to see his reflection, hoping for another memory to trigger. Yet instead of feeling a new memory coming, he soon felt something push him down from behind, causing him to land face first into the shallow water, completely sprawled out and completely soaked.

"Gah! You're too easily distracted! What is up with you?"

Naruto lifted himself out of the water and glared at the strange imp floating in front of him.

"Me? You're the one who pushed me down! So what's your problem!" Naruto retorted, not bothering to hold back any frustration.

"Like I said, you're too easily distracted! Did you already forget that our mutual _acquaintance_ is currently collapsed in a heap all thanks to you? Or are you really that vain and had to make sure that I didn't smudge your precious whatever it is that you're wearing on your head?"

"Well, I wouldn't have to worry about my precious whatever it is if you wouldn't have flicked me in the first place," Naruto retorted.

"I wouldn't have flicked you if you would've left Link alone for a while and let him come to on his own."

Naruto, with his nerves already shot from a combination of everything that happened to him so far today and the fact that he had no context with which to put anything into, finally snapped. He threw a punch at the imp, and as his punch was evaded, he noticed that the imp didn't look quite the same as before. The only aspect of the imp that looked the same was its shape and single visible eye. The rest, while still looking similar, definitely looked more shadowy than he remembered from their first brief encounter, as if everything about it, except for its eye, was made of shadows.

"If I were you, I wouldn't try that again, or didn't your mom ever teach you to never strike a lady?"

All the possible things that Naruto was considering saying or doing at this moment was temporarily forget in light of this new information.

"YOU'RE A GIRL?"

Naruto's shout left the imp motionless. She just floated, staring at him in pure disbelief with her unusually-colored eye. The only thought running through the Imp's head was, _ Of all the things he could have been stunned by just now, HE FIXATES ON THE FACT THAT I'M A GIRL? Just who the hell is this kid?_

After few seconds letting that thought sink in, the imp let out a sound that seemed to be part moan of frustration, and part groan of annoyance.

"I don't have time to be dealing with another dense idiot. Look, you, let's start over okay? Because I need your help to get this guy here," she gestured towards Link, "somewhere to recover and the only place I know of nearby is his village, and quite obviously, I wouldn't receive what you would consider a friendly welcome."

"Why?" Naruto asked even though he had already stooped by Link and was preparing to lift him. He didn't know why he thought so, but to him, it felt like someone like the Imp was a fairly regular occurrence to him.

"Does it matter? He helped you, you helped him, I helped the both of you, and now you help me," she said as she lifted her arms and began concentrating intently on Link.

"What are you going to do? That thing you did before?"

Now Naruto was standing up with his left arm around the back of an unconscious Link whose right arm Naruto had draped around his neck. He waited now to see what the imp would do before he would try moving while carrying the injured Link.

"The thing I did before? Warping? No. Not now, the conditions aren't right. I'll explain later, maybe. Right now, all I'm going to do is focus on Link and try to keep him from getting any worse as you drag him towards his village. And before you ask, just head out of this enclosed spring, take a right, and keep going along the path and across the bridge. You'll see the village eventually. Hopefully by then, I'll have figured out what we're doing next," after her explanation, she released what energy she had been charging into a small, shadowy spark which entered into Link's body. He groaned in response, but he still did not regain consciousness.

Naruto waited for one more second and then began the tiring, but concerning, task of dragging his newfound, unconscious, ally back to the village where he supposedly lived. As he walked, Naruto noticed that the imp was always within a couple of feet distance of him, or rather Link, and she continued her concentrated stare at his unconscious form.

"So, remind me why I should trust you again?" Naruto asked as he noticed the trees parted for a small clearing that continued on towards two cliffs, both of which had trees on top of them.

"You have no choice," she replied curtly.

Naruto muffled out a groan in response as he continued heading forward. The imp let out an exasperated sigh in response to Naruto's groan.

"I don't exactly enjoy this. If I could've tended to him myself, I would have. In fact, I planned on it. Actually, I planned on a lot of things, and unfortunately for you, you are currently the proberbial really big bomb that blew my plan straight to hell."

"Plan for what?"

"It doesn't concern you right now."

_Again she's trying to shut me up, _thought Naruto. _ Too bad for you Miss Imp you're my only source for answers._

"Why not?" Naruto asked, trying to egg her on in telling something to him, anything. He had a lot of questions and still didn't quite trust his traveling companion.

"Long story. I'll explain later, maybe," she replied.

"You said that already."

"I know…oh look, we're at the bridge now pay attention. I can't afford to let Link fall to his death right now…why are you stopping?"

Naruto had been listening as he took his first step onto the large wooden suspension bridge, but then he decided to stop. It wasn't out of fear of dropping Link, but it was out of annoyance at the lack of answers he was getting.

"I'll keep going as soon as you tell me what's going on."

"But you already know. You're dragging unconscious hero-boy here back to his home village which wouldn't be much farther beyond this bridge. Now let's go."

"I'm not talking about that! I want to know what is going on about everything! Who are you? What are you? What was up with that freaky plant monster and then that strange spring? Are we even in the same world from before you warped us? And also, where am I!"

The imp floated right in front of him, hovering at eye-level, glaring at him with a mixture of fury and confusion.

"You really don't know? Gah!" She threw her arms up and turned away. After a moment, she crossed her arms in front of her as if she were in thought. Then she turned back, with a mischievous grin on her shadowy face.

"You're lucky to be alive then…or are you actually that skilled? Doesn't really matter right now because Link needs help, and I can tell you're too much of a _good_ _person_ to let Link suffer while you stubbornly try to get me to tell you about things that don't involve you."

_What to do? What to do? She's calling my bluff. Man, how is she able to make _me_ feel like the bad guy here? It's not like it was my choice to suddenly drop in on that battle with that freaky plant monster thing and end up here taking orders from Ms. One-Eyed Floating Imp Lady._

She fully turned around and stared him in the eye, still with a mischievous grin on her face and now a mischievous glint in her eye, or so Naruto thought he saw. It could've been the sunlight from the midmorning sun playing tricks on him.

"How about a deal? You help me out and I'll help you out. In fact, I'll pay you for your help right now if it makes you feel better."

"Look, I don't need money—"

"Who said anything about money?" the imp interrupted. "I'll give you a few answers. For starters, I'm Link's boss. Second, I need Link and he needs me. We're currently on a journey to collect stuff and maybe find a few missing friends of his along the way, if we happen to be that lucky. As for that plant monster, obviously it was a monster that needed killing. After you and Link beat it, I warped you out of the temple we were in back to the spirit spring of this forest. As for where you are, well…"

Suddenly the imp grew quiet and turned around. She stared off towards the other end of the bridge and then quickly floated by Naruto's ear.

"Sorry, I have to hide now. Some villagers are almost to the bridge, and I _cannot_ let them know about me. In the meantime, since you're still mobile and you actually owe me a little, I'll make use of your shadow for the time being. So see you later."

Before Naruto could comprehend or ask what she was doing, she dived straight into his shadow, sending a chilling shiver up his spine. Then right after the sensation ceased, he began hearing the shouts of a couple of men who had reached the bridge.

"Hey, you there, stop!" shouted a muscular man with a scrunched face and a square-like head with a flat tuff of hair on top. After this shout there was another: "Yeah, wait right there!" This shout was from a meek-looking man with slick, shoulder-length hair who was holding a piece of grass that almost looked as if it were in the shape of a bird.

Naruto noticed that both wore similar clothing—a simple, beige tunic for a top, sandals for footwear, and what looked like baggy pants as both men grew closer. The tougher-looking man wore some sort of girdle at his waist, tied around with a piece of yellow-colored fabric for a belt, and the wimpier man wore what looked-like a work apron with a red-colored fabric belt.

It was the muscular man who reached him first, followed by the other man who still sounded out of breath. Naruto considered running at this point but decided against it due to lack of knowledge of where he was and where he could hide. Plus he recalled that the imp referred to these men as villagers.

_Maybe these guys are from Link's village, but why are they looking at me like that…Oh crud._

"Listen fellows, I'm not looking for trouble," Naruto tried to reason, but the squared-head man only continued staring at him while the other man still continued to catch his breath. Then when the other man finally resumed what sounded like a normal breathing pattern, even though it still sounded slightly wheezy, the first man spoke.

"Hey Hanch, isn't that Link?"

The wheezing man finally took notice of who Naruto was holding up and then let out a small gasp.

"Yeah, it is! He's alive! Right?"

"Hey kid, who are you?" the first man asked.

"Umm…I don't know."

Both men now looked at him with even more suspicious than previously.

"Well in that case, I'm afraid you'll have to come with us back to the village until our mayor comes back. Then we'll be able to straighten out what happened to Link and maybe the others."

"You're sure about that Jaggle? I mean what if, what if he's with _them?_"

Jaggle shrugged his shoulders as he walked over and lifted Link up from the left, draping Link's left arm around his neck while he braced Link from behind with his right.

"I don't know who you are kid, but right now, I'm more worried about Link. So let's get him fixed up back at the village and then we'll figure out what to do. And don't even think about trying to run away now or anything like that. My friend, Hanch, here may not look like much, but he has a piece of Hawk Grass right now. And if he has to, he will use it to call a fierce hawk to chase you down long enough for us to catch you. So don't go forgetting that. Now let's go."

Jaggle took a step forward, which forced Naruto to go forward. Soon, they both fell into an equal rhythm that wouldn't result in Link getting stretched out more than he has to, and behind them, still wheezing, Hanch followed, tightly gripping his piece of Hawk Grass.

And so, it was in such company, that Naruto found himself arriving at Ordon Village.

* * *

Meanwhile, as Naruto was forcibly escorted to Ordon Village, there was another who was keeping watch on him from the shadows. Yet, unlike Midna, he wasn't watching from the shadows of people but watching from a throne room covered in shadows.

"Hmm…so the trash we kicked out has found yet another nuisance to help her on her inevitable quest to find failure…"

On a stone-like throne sat a menacing figure with both pale and dark skin tones and eyes that glowed with an unnatural presence. The smirk on his face with his pointed teeth barely showing didn't serve to lessen his menacing presence. While his robes seemed more suited for a court jester in the courts of the underworld, he wore them like a king. In fact, everything about the figure just seemed to clash as if his presence was some sort of unnatural cosmic joke. One would face quite the challenge in trying to figure out whether if everything about this figure, known as Zant, was menacing because of him or if it was because something that would be presently unseen.

Yet all that does not hold much importance now since the only onlookers in this throne room are two beast-like creatures with long talons, skin as black as shadow, and a type of metal helmet or face plate with a helix design on the front. To them, nothing matter other than the commands given. As long as their command giver wielded the power, they obeyed. If he were no longer holding the power, then perhaps they would cease to exist as they were, but such thoughts never took clear form in the mind of these monstrosities. They only waited with a desire for battle that would only be allowed to be fulfilled at the whims of their unnatural leader. Yet, no such command would come just yet because he was too busy looking at a three-dimensional image projection of Naruto, Link, and the villagers—a projection given form from some mix of otherworldly power, foreign magical research, and strange, mystical equipment making use of the otherworldly power and foreign magical research..

"Now the question is whether or not this new nuisance will make the trash and the first nuisance any more troublesome or not. I seriously doubt it, though."

Zant let out a small chuckle that was soon quieted by the sound of static emanating from the distorted holographic projection. Then soon the static was overwhelmed in volume by the screeching of the two monsters in the room that currently seemed to be writhing in agony.

"Enough!" Zant commanded, and then with one gesture of his hand, the projection was dismissed and the monsters quieted.

"It's bad enough that I am not allowed to see the events of the village, but does that pitiful spirit need to make itself known in such an offensive manner?"

For the next moment, it seemed as if the menacing Zant was about to throw some sort of tantrum when suddenly he quieted and became statue-still. He seemed to be in deep concentration, listening to some unheard voice.

"Yes, yes of course, my leige. I do not mean to insult you with my concern over the spirit. I understand that the uncaptured and recently freed light spirits only remain as per your whim, but ultimately you will eliminate them because you will be the only _light_ worthy of remaining, shining in all your power."

Zant then grew silent once more, again trying to listen to some unheard but important voice.

"Of course, of course, my liege. All insignificant annoyances will be destroyed in the end when you usher in your glorious kingdom. So I will wait as per your instructions as to whether or not more _drastic_ measures are needed. But as for how-"

Zant grew quiet yet again. Then suddenly he leapt out of his throne and started groveling before some unseen presence.

"Forgive me. My deepest apologies, my lord. I did not mean to dare question your wise judgment in such matters that are beyond mere mortal comprehension."

And for the rest of this moment in time, Zant continued to grovel to some unseen presence, not daring to lift his head up for fear of some divine rebuke.

* * *

AN:/ So yeah, the only thing that i can say as to how late this chapter was is that both me and my co-author are lazy bastards who lack the motivation to write anything longer than three sentences a week. its literally been sitting on my hard drive for over a month before I got up the motivation to do anything about it. therefore, please just treat me like Shikamaru and send periodic kicks in the pants when you want more writing done, so that way I will be forced to do so just to shut people up and let me get back to my cloud watching. they've been really interesting lately.

One other thing that came up in my discussions with my co-author is that we will be using the gamecube layout of the world map instead of the Wii one and treating it as a roughly 1/100th scale of the real thing. (a journey that in game would only take a day would take a month in this fic.) this was done to avoid any directional confusion (plus the fact that the gamecube layout is closer to the OOT/MQ world map that the Wii one. Anyone who ever played any other zelda game should agree that Gerudo Desert should be in the west, not the east) and to allow for certain things to occur in the future that we needed more in story time for, plus to add to the level of realism. (good gameplay mechanics generally do NOT make for good story telling tools.)


	4. Meeting the Mayor

**Chapter 4: Meeting the Mayor**

_What? Am I the local freak show? Geez._

Naruto played off his groan as another yawn. He tried hard to not stare back at the few villagers who passed by, staring at him. There wasn't much he could do to avoid being the center of attention while he sat on the wooden porch of some important house in this village. He had been trying to keep his focus off of the gawkers in order to block out the whispering, but the occasional "odd" or "how strange" still managed to intrude pass his mental defenses. Being left with nothing to do since he arrived around midday until now, some time during late afternoon, wasn't helping, especially since his only company was his captors who weren't talking to him.

Then there was also the audience that had gathered earlier when he first arrived, helping hold up Link. They were drawn to see how Link was doing and were content to ignore Naruto, a stranger, until now. Jaggle's and Hanch's presence provided enough that no one from the gathered crowd approached him personally, but an occasional audience member did approach Jaggle and Hanch. The response he heard was always the same: "We're waitin' for the mayor." Then immediately after when the villager returned to the crowd, the whispers and murmurs increased in number and volume. And yet again, another villager approached and yet again, Naruto heard the same response.

_GAH!_

Naruto bolted up, at the limit of his patience and tolerance. He inhaled deeply, and on the verge of venting his frustrations, he paused when he heard Jaggle clear his throat. Naruto exhaled his deep breath and met the glare Jaggle was giving him. Naruto then took another deep breath and exhaled and was able to sit back down when he overheard one more "odd," and then he stopped caring. From having to sit out on the porch all day to being the center of some village freak show to having to endure some strange tingling at the back of his head that demanded he should be familiar with a situation similar to what he currently faced, Naruto had had enough. He jerked back upright fully, inhaled deeply, and then screamed upward towards the sky, venting a bit of his frustration. Then he turned his attention to his audience who stood rigid, as if trying to avoid some hungry monster's attention. Even Jaggle and Hanch were a bit shaken, or rather, Hanch was especially shaken and Jaggle seemed more annoyed than shaken. However, Naruto was not stopping now. He had been pushed long enough and was ready to push back.

"Odd?! ODD?! I'll show you odd! Come over here and say that to my—"

Naruto's rant was interrupted as Jaggle grabbed him by the shoulders.

"That's enough boy," Jaggle advised as he pushed Naruto down by the shoulders, just enough to show his insistence that Naruto should seat himself again.

However, Naruto ignored the unspoken insistence and instead pushed Jaggle out of his personal space. Jaggle staggered back a step and then regained his footing. He then hunched his shoulders forward, steadied his arms out, and charged at Naruto, but Naruto sidestepped his tackle, causing him to fall face-first onto the ground.

Jaggle lifted himself up and spat, trying to get rid of the taste of dirt in his mouth. Then he pushed himself up into a crouched position and stood up. He glared at Naruto for a moment before charging him again. Naruto tried to sidestep him again, but this time Jaggle wasn't falling for Naruto's ploy. As he was passing Naruto by, he skidded to a stop, pivoted and then lunged at Naruto, tackling him to the ground. Jaggle placed both of his hands at Naruto's shoulder joints, where the arms meet the shoulders, attempting to keep him pinned, but Naruto began bucking his legs and fidgeting with his torso, trying to break out of the pin. A lucky kick to Jaggle's knee loosened his pin enough for Naruto to gain more movement.

Naruto rolled out of Jaggle's pin and then raised himself to a crouching position and returned the favor of Jaggle's earlier lunge with one of his own, resulting in the two of them trying to grapple the other into submission in their impromptu wrestling match until Jaggle managed to pin Naruto beneath him again. He kept his right knee over Naruto's gut while using his left leg and knee to keep himself balanced. He had both of Naruto's arms pinned at Naruto's side. Then he moved in closer, putting more of his body weight behind his knee

"Lem'me make myself clear. Either you behave or we toss you in with the goats. Got it?"

At first, Naruto's only replied by gasping for breath. Jaggle's weight was keeping the wind out of him. Yet, after a couple of seconds of gasping, Naruto managed to get out an answer.

"-et….-ff….-ee!" gasped Naruto.

Jaggle leaned off, relieving some of the pressure he was putting on Naruto's gut.

"Didn't hear ya. What was—YEOCH!"

Jaggle reared back and fell over. He lay sprawled on the ground, rubbing his forehead. Meanwhile Naruto took in a couple of gasps of breath before launching back to his feet, but he staggered for a moment due to the blood rush from standing up too quickly. Plus that headbutt hadn't done wonders for his air-hungry body. Yet his dizzy spell soon passed, and he was able to steady himself. When he went to turn away from Jaggle he heard a melodic whistle. He paused and then turned towards the sound flapping wings. He let out a small groan upon seeing Hanch with quite a large hawk perched on his arm.

"Stay back!" Hanch yelled, trying hard to keep his arm still for the hawk.

_Crud. What else could happen now?_

Naruto blinked his eyes a few times.

_There's always a chance of me being lynched._

The crowd had increased in size, drawn by the commotion between Naruto and Jaggle. The murmurs had increased in volume and were more angry shouts and name calling. Naruto gulped a little. Between the fearful Hanch with the hawk and an angry crowd, he found himself in a bit of a predicament.

_It's definitely time for me to make a break for it._

Yet before Naruto or the villagers could decide on a course of action, someone else yelled out, drawing everyone's attention.

"Now what's going on here?! What business do y'all have to be crowdin' round my place? I leave for a day and everyone suddenly decides it's okay to start a riot? Just 'cause the kids were taken by some monsters don't mean everyone gets to act like a heard of angry goats. We all have troubles to face, but whatever it is that y'all are thinkin' 'bout doing, stop. There's still a bit of daylight left, so stop doddling and finish up for the day."

No one moved. Naruto even held his breath, hoping to avoid drawing the attention of this angry newcomer to his day.

"Didn't y'all understand me? I meant NOW!"

With some grumblings, the villagers left, leaving Naruto staring, with his mouth hanging, at the man who managed to break up the angry mob.

Meanwhile, Hanch gulped and waved his arm, shooing the hawk away.

Jaggle got up as fast as he could and tried to dust himself off while Naruto still continued to stare with a hint of disbelief in his eyes at the man who had just arrived.

"Mayor Bo, we've been waiting for you…"

The mayor grunted, cutting off Jaggle before any explanation could continue, and then he shook his head and sighed a world-weary sigh. As the mayor approached, Naruto noticed that he was dressed in similar fashion as everyone else but definitely had the most girth out of everyone he managed to meet today. Yet he still remained unsure as to whether he should thank or run from this man. He sort of looked intimidating like an angry boar, if it weren't for his drooping ears, bald head, and his white mustache that didn't point out quite right to look like boar tusks. Then again, the man didn't have to look like anything after the demonstration of his authority he just gave.

Fairly soon, however, Naruto realized running still wasn't an option. With the way the mayor looked him over, Naruto realized he wasn't free to go just yet.

So after a bit of looking him over, Mayor Bo took Jaggle and Hanch to the side, asking for an explanation. At first Naruto listened intently because the mayor kept looking up from their huddle to look at him, but then he started zoning out once he figured out Jaggle and Hanch were just rehashing everything that happened, along with a few embellishments—nothing that would worsen his situation.

While they talked, and left with nothing to do except wait, Naruto resorted to studying the mayor. The first impression he still had was that the mayor almost looked like a boar, maybe even with the strength to match, or so it would seem from his exposed arms thanks to his sleeveless white tunic.

From there, Naruto's attention shifted to distracting himself with wondering why the mayor had obvious stitching in his tunic near the left shoulder and also why was his tunic covered in splotches of mud and dirt. Then from there, Naruto noticed the vest-like hide kept in place around his waist with a red cloth belt with some sort of pattern of yellow circles. However, let out a yelp of surprised when the mayor, standing right in front of him, cleared his throat.

"So Jaggle, Hanch, this kid was the cause of all that ruckus? He doesn't look that bad."

"But m-mayor when we found this kid he was dragging Link behind him."

"Yeah, I already got that from the explanation you and Jaggle just told me, Hanch. But I figure from everything y'all told me that part of the blame of the ruckus belongs to you two."

"Mayor Bo!"

"Quiet Jaggle. If you would've been just a bit more hospitable with this kid instead of treating him like some prisoner of war right off then maybe you two wouldn't have had to fight. Isn't that right kid?"

Naruto didn't really know how to respond other than shaking his head in agreement.

_I don't need this guy mad at me too._

"See?" Mayor Bo said turning back towards Jaggle and Hanch. "Just because we were attacked by monsters don't mean we got to act like them too. Now as for you," Mayor Bo paused as he turned back towards Naruto and gave him another look over. "I still can't make up my mind as to what kind of fellow you are, but you might just have some answers. So I insist that you join me for supper tonight."

As Mayor Bo finished speaking he placed both his hands on Naruto's shoulders and gave him a gentle push to turn him around towards the house.

"Mayor Bo!" both Jaggle and Hanch exclaimed in unison.

The mayor groaned in response and then gave Naruto a small shove forward.

"Wait for me up by my door."

He then turned towards Jaggle and Hanch.

"That's enough you two. I had a long day and I don't need y'all stirrin' up more trouble than what's already come. I'll be able to find out this boy's story, and then we'll be able to call it quits on that mystery. But if you two are so worried for my sake then feel free to stand guard for as long as you want. Agreed?"

"Alright," Jaggle responded with reluctance.

"If you say so," Hanch replied.

"Good. I suggest you get a lantern, might be getting dark soon. Also, couldn't hurt to have something to use while guarding, right? So might want to get something for that too."

With that suggestion finished, the mayor went up the ramp to his front door, took out his key, opened his door, and motioned for Naruto to enter first. Afterwards, he entered and closed the door behind him.

"So now what?" Hanch asked.

"'Now what?' We'll do as the mayor says and guard his place as long as he has that monster kid with him. So go get your lantern and a pitchfork or a hoe or somethin', as long as it's useful."

"R-right."

Hanch took off towards his house, leaving Jaggle by himself.

"Mayor what are you tryin' to do? Sticking up for this kid won't bring the missing kids back any sooner…"

Jaggle walked up the ramp to the mayor's house and took a position in front of the door with a grimace.

"Another long day almost over and another long night comin'…"

"Isn't the Twilight lovely, _Princess_?"

A young woman wearing an old, brown cloak turned away from the window in the stone wall and spared a glance at her addresser before she turned back to look outside.

"What do you want today, Zant?"

"No no. Now you really should know better. It's Lord Zant to you," Zant replied, using a tone that one would adopt when scolding a little kid on bad manners.

_If times were different, I could almost find this fiend comical. Almost._

As long as her people were effectively held hostage, nothing seemed like a laughing matter anymore to her. Unfortunately, for her people's sake, she couldn't just ignore the gothic jester-like Zant either. If she didn't play nice, her people would suffer. So with a sigh and a suppressed groan, she played along with Zant's charade.

"Of course, my mistake, _Lord_ Zant."

"Now, now, Princess Zelda, no need for such venom. I've only come for a visit."

"You've had your visit, now please go," spoke Zelda.

"Not yet. I have a warning for you. I'm not sure if you're fully aware of what's been going on or not, but it will not turn out well for you or your people if this hero does not stop."

"Hero? What hero?"

"Funny princess, funny."

Suddenly adopting a much more serious demeanor, Zant walked up to Zelda and pulled down the hood of her cloak. Then the section of his mask shaped liked a monster's mouth, including sharp teeth and an oversized tongue, opened, revealing a pale, lower-half of a male face, with dark lips. Zant leaned next to and whispered into Zelda's ear, making sure she felt his harsh breaths.

"I won't tolerate rebellion. Remember, your kingdom, and people, belong to me. If I find out that you're giving any more assistance to this hero and his friends, then I won't hesitate to start making public examples, starting with you. However, I am willing to play nice. I'm not all bad, but you must co-operate with me my _dear_. Don't forget, you only appear to be in charge, for the people's sake that is, but life can get much worse from here on out if you force my hand. And we both wouldn't want anything... _unfortunate_... to happen to your precious people, now would we?"

Zant then backed away and smirked before resealing his mask, definitely enjoying one of the simpler pleasures in his life. Then after lingering for a couple of seconds longer to admire the foul mood he left the princess in, he left, satisfied that his warning had been received.

Now left alone, Zelda was on the verge of letting out a deep sigh of relief, but stopped. Something Zant had mentioned bugged her more than usual. Then after a little bit of thought she finally realized what bugged her.

"_Hero and his"…"friends?" Why would he…but there wouldn't be anyone …? Oh Midna! I hope you didn't drag more innocents into our mess. This is our problem to solve. We already claimed _his_ life for our cause; we don't need to steal away any more._

"And after that, I crossed into the woods because that odd darkness had finally lifted. So as I was making headway towards the Forest Temple, just in case the kids were bein' held there, I see a mighty large pillar of darkness shoot up high into the sky. I figured to myself that it had to come from the temple. So I was about to start rushin' to get there when next I noticed that the sky was getting brighter. So I looked back and saw some strange light glowin' from the direction of Faron Springs. Next thought I had was that the tale of the guardian spirit was true and it had revealed itself. I tried to head back but along the way, I almost ran into a hungry Deku Baba. Do you have any idea what it's like to almost end up as plant chow?"

Naruto gritted his teeth as he felt yet another painful pinch.

"I guess so," Naruto answered with a hiss of breath.

_What is that imp's problem? This pinching is getting old. If she doesn't want me to talk about what happened in the forest then why doesn't she just talk instead?_

Naruto kept his thoughts to himself, but a small groan of annoyance did escape, drawing back the mayor's scrutiny. However, Naruto turned away to the side and coughed, trying to act as innocent as he could. The mayor wasn't buying into Naruto's act.

With a sigh, he pushed his chair away from the heavy, wooden table and back against the bookshelf. He had been questioning Naruto for a while, but he still couldn't get a solid feel for Naruto's character. They at first had a relatively silent supper together of roasted goat meat with a side of mashed pumpkin. Then immediately afterwards, without even picking up the supper dishes, Bo had started the questioning. At first Naruto was able to answer completely truthfully. But lately he hadn't been giving any answers at all—a highly suspicious course of action to the mayor.

"Well, I'll go ahead and wrap up this tale. I can guarantee you it wasn't pleasant. I still feel sore after having to handle that darn thing, but when I finally got to the spring, there was nothing. Just the spring and the natural surroundings. Nothing out of place except some footprints leading back to the path that comes back here to the village. Well, what you think I did then? I followed the trail and still saw nothing out of the usual, even to the province line between Faron and Ordona. So I finally decided to give up for the day and come back home for some much needed rest, but as soon as I pass Ordon Springs I finally see something odd. I ran across Pergie, Jaggle's wife, gathering up some spring water. So I called out to her from the trail and asked her why she was gettin' some spring water. In a frenzy, she told me that her husband and Hanch had returned with Link out cold. Then she mentioned somethin' about the two of them keepin' a stranger, waitin' for me to get back."

At this point the mayor had begun pacing around.

"So when I got back to the village, I saw the folks gathered by my place, but I figured it could wait a minute to see how Link was holdin' up. After a quick visit at Jaggle's place, where Link was bein' kept, and a quick chat with Sera, Hanch's wife, on how he was doin', Pergie finally comes back with some spring water and herbs. Then she tells me that I had better head on over to my place because of some commotion. So, I had to come out charging like a goat to get things settled again. Usually I'm not so rough, but times had been tough. Like I told you earlier, we're missin' five kids, one of which is my own daughter, and the others are Hanch's kids and Jaggle's kids. Plus Rusl, well, I suppose you could consider him our village guard since he's the resident swordsman, well he's injured with his pregnant wife tendin' to him. Plus they're missin' their boy as well. So times had been hard on us. We're all a bit in a frenzy and seems like it's only keepin' to our daily chores and errands that's keepin' our village from fallin' apart. Today is the first day we had a search party actually turn up somethin'. So with all that in mind, why don't you try again to tell me what happened with Link while y'all were out in the forest? And why were you even with him in the first place?"

This whole time Naruto was trying to figure out if he had the answers the mayor needed, but every time he went to try to speak about something that happened to him, Link, or that imp, said imp would reach out of his shadow just far enough to pinch his leg and distract him from answering. However, each time, the mayor would stop and give a Naruto a look, and of course Naruto couldn't figure out how to explain away the situation without sounding even crazier. He couldn't exactly excuse himself in front of the mayor and apologize for his outbursts that were caused by the hand of a strange imp creature thing that current resided in his shadow reaching out and pinching him. So just like each other time, Naruto again managed to play it off by just mumbling something to himself and then coughing or whistling or just generally making some kind of non related reaction.

So when the mayor grew tired of giving Naruto a look that said he thought Naruto to be partly, if not completely, crazy, he continued on with his tale.

Mayor Bo stopped pacing and took a deep, heavy-hearted, breath. He then spoke again, more to himself.

"They all know that I'm just as heartbroken as the others. It don't make me feel good that our safe village isn't so safe anymore…Oh Ilia your mother would've had my hide over this if she'd a still been around."

Naruto noticed that the mayor was fiddling with some charm he wore around his neck on a decorative leather strap, seemingly lost in some distant memory, and by the way he handled it, Naruto could tell that this trinket held more value to the mayor then any of the metal armlets he wore or either of the metal rings he wore around each leg.

So since the mayor had taken a moment to travel through his memories, Naruto decided to take the opportunity to take a breather and give a rather pointed glare at his shadow. The questioning session had gone horrible since most of the time Naruto had no clue as to how to answer Mayor Bo, much less know what Mayor Bo was talking about. Not having any idea as to where he was, what it was usually like in this land where he was, and what was going on that was so out of the ordinary for this land where he was did not help his understanding at all. Also that his memory appeared to be gone did not make things any easier.

Then to top it all off, even the few answers he had about himself, he couldn't share most of them because he wasn't apparently allowed to talk about the giant plant monster that he and Link beat or how they all warped out of there or how he was currently in this predicament because a stupid imp-girl-thing somehow convinced him that it was the right thing to do even though she was clearly not acting with the best of intentions. Yet, as he continued glaring at his shadow while Mayor Bo continued fiddling with his charm, the imp girl thing's head popped out, causing Naruto to fall out of his chair, snapping Mayor Bo out of his trip.

When Naruto looked up and saw the mayor giving him that look again, he looked back to his shadow, which was currently blending in with the table's shadow, and saw the imp quickly point to herself and shook her head side to side before darting back into hiding. At first Naruto didn't get it and was still frustrated with her, but then, when the mayor cleared his throat, showing that he expected an explanation, Naruto stood up, pointed to his shadow, and was about to say the craziest thing he thought he could say at this moment, when he got another pinch to his leg. Naruto hissed in response at the minute but sharp pain, but this time the pain gave the last kick his brain needed to comprehend this situation and what the imp meant by pointing to herself and shaking her head side to side.

_That's why she was pinching me? She doesn't want me to talk about her? Then that probably means that she won't let me talk about anything else that could lead up to talking about her. Just great. Thanks a lot, Imp- girl-thing._

So the mayor cleared his throat one more time, and now Naruto suddenly felt very awkward. He was standing up after falling out of his chair and pointed to his shadow. He had been about to say something but that had been cut short, and now the mayor still wanted an explanation. Trying to come up with something as quick as possible to get out of this awkward situation, Naruto went ahead and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"The imp-girl who currently lives in my shadow made me fall out of my chair because apparently keeping her secret is more important than me not looking like an idiot."

In response, Naruto had to clench his teeth as he received the hardest pinch yet, but Mayor Bo stared speechless. Then he suddenly started laughing.

"Boy, that's just about the craziest thing I done ever heard. I almost believe you too with everythin' that's happenin', but for someone like you to just up and admit somethin' like that, even if it could'a been true, there's just no way you'd a said that. I must be goin' crazy with all my worries. So go ahead and sit back down."

The pain in Naruto's leg relented, and he righted his chair, sitting down again. This time, the mayor sat across from him instead of returning to pacing.

"So one more time, can you tell me anythin' helpful towards finding my kids?"

Naruto took a deep breath for a few seconds.

"No, I can't."

_Well, at least I'm not completely lying straight to the face of a worried father whose daughter's missing._

Naruto received a grunt in response from the mayor.

"Okay, well how's about you tell me why you're with Link? And this time none of that coughin' or whistlin' nonsense."

"Uhh, I uh _found_ him like that?"

Mayor Bo studied Naruto's face, arching his eyebrows in suspicion.

"And where did you find him?"

"In the forest."

"Hmph. Okay then, so you found Link, injured, in the forest. Then as you tried to drag him somewheres safe, Jaggle and Hanch found you and brought you and Link back. Is that what you're stickin' with?"

Naruto gulped. "Yeah, I guess."

"So what were you doin' in the forest before you found Link, injured?"

"Um, I don't know."

"You expect me to believe you don't know that?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so if you don't know why you were in the forest, what were you doin' before even then?"

"I don't know."

Nartuo winced as the mayor grunted in annoyance.

"Okay, so where were you before you went to the forest?"

"Konoha."

"Where's this Can-o-haw place?"

"I don't know where Konoha is."

The mayor banged the table out of frustration, causing Naruto to jump a little in his chair.

"Quit messin' with me. I don't care who you really are. You ain't no monster or crook. You're too innocent-lookin' and behave mostly too good to be a monster and you're too foolish to be a crook. So why are you lyin' to me still? I appreciate ya droppin' the nonsense act you were throwin' around earlier. The joke was good, and I needed that laugh, but how can I believe you just don't know why you wus in the forest and how you don't know where the place is you wus at before the forest?"

"I don't know," Naruto whispered.

"Fine then, just go ahead and tell me what you know," replied Mayor Bo.

"I know my name's Naruto. I know I'm dressed odd. I know I was in the forest. I know I tried to help Link back. I know that I'm here now, and beyond that, I know that I don't know how to help you because I just don't know. The only other thing I think I know is that I'm from something called Konoha, but I don't even know _what_ that is, much less where. And now, I think you're worried about your daughter and really want to find her, but you're wasting time trying to get answers from me, BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!"

Just as Mayor Bo was opening his mouth to say something, the doors to his house were flung open as Jaggle and Hanch rushed in with Hanch waving a torch around like a maniac and Jaggle holding a garden hoe like a quarter staff, ready to bash someone's head in with it. So then Mayor Bo turned his attention away from Naruto and towards the other two.

"Quit wavin' that torch around and put down the hoe. There's no attack goin' on here, so there's no need to burn my place down," shouted Bo.

Hanch blinked a few times and looked around as he steadied his torch. To Naruto, it looked as if Hanch was for the first time paying attention to what was actually going on instead of just swinging at anything. Jaggle on the other hand only gripped his garden hoe tighter.

"Mayor Bo, we heard some hollerin' comin' from in here and came rushin' in. We were just doin' what you told us."

"Well, that's fine enough Jaggle, but stop holdin' that hoe like it's some sort of sword or spear. You won't be havin' to carve anyone up with that thing tonight."

Then Mayor Bo pushed his chair back and stood up. He walked over to Jaggle and grabbed the gardening hoe from Jaggle.

"How about you two, since you're so full of energy, take Naruto to get some sleep over at your place, Hanch. I'm done askin' him questions tonight, but I don't want him leavin' the village just yet, not until he's been fully honest with me."

"But m-mayor, why my place?"

The mayor leaned the hoe against the wall and rubbed his forehead, tired from the day's events and tired of having to explain himself to Hanch and Jaggle.

"He's our guest for tonight. And it's either we bring him to your place, let him sleep with the goats, or let him stay here. You two choose, and it better not be choosin' to let him sleep with the goats. The last time that happened…well, we can't afford the goats bein' any more unsettled than they are now."

Jaggle and Hanch looked at each other for a moment, and then Hanch sighed, relenting.

"Alright mayor. He can stay over at my place."

"Good. And don't worry about it too much Hanch. He's not too bad of a kid, and you'll even have Jaggle there too. And Naruto here promises to not mess with y'all as long as y'all treat him fairly. Ain't that right?"

Though the question was directed at Naruto, the way Mayor Bo asked it made it sound like he was expecting an answer from everyone, and everyone agreed.

"I'm glad we've reached an understandin'. Now Naruto, go ahead and get goin' with these two fellas. We'll meet up again in the morning for some breakfast and more talkin'."

Naruto got up and was escorted outside by Jaggle and Hanch. The mayor walked behind them, seeing them out, but as soon as Jaggle, Hanch, and Naruto had walked off the ramp from the mayor's porch and taken a few steps, a yelp of surprise rang out from down the path. Jaggle, Hanch, and Mayor Bo all looked towards the direction of the noise, expecting something but leaving Naruto confused. Then no longer than a second later, the mayor grunted and hollered out.

"THAT FADO DONE LET ANOTHER ONE LOOSE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Jaggle and Hanch immediately fled back to safety on the mayor's porch, but they had left Naruto standing in the middle of the path. Before Jaggle and Hanch could correct their mistake, a large buck of a goat came running down the path in a maddened frenzy. Naruto saw what was coming his way, but he couldn't register what was going on or that he should probably follow Hanch and Jaggle's example. So instead, by reflex and instinct, he tried to jump out of the way—only to land on the buck's back side, facing behind the goat. Yet, the extra weight only caused the frenzied animal to stumble a few steps before regaining footing and frantically charging off again, taking Naruto with him.

"UH, HEY! WHAT DO I DO NOW?!" Naruto called out, hoping for some help. Riding backwards on a goat at dusk was definitely not on his current list of things to do.

Yet Mayor Bo, Jaggle and Hanch could only stare in utter disbelief at the circumstances that Naruto found himself in. Unfortunately, the silence did not help Naruto at all.

"Guys?! Little help here?! ANYONE! HELP!"

At some indeterminate location in the southern region of Hyrule Field, Zant appeared, looking quite agitated. His chat with Zelda had only provided more questions for him, since by his gauging of her reaction, she had no idea about what was going on. She was far too honest for her own good and couldn't lie to save her life. In fact, it was the only reason he had attempted such a route to gain information, knowing that while she wouldn't tell him anything concrete, she would invariably give away that she knew something, proving that she had some connection to what was going on. He could have then used that to press more info out of her through blackmail.

As it is, her apparent lack of information meant that he had to try other methods to gain that needed information, methods that were not always pleasant for him.

"Come out already. Where are you, you stupid brute!?"

Coming from the north of him, Zant heard a rumbling noise. He turned towards the sound and saw a massive figure riding on back of a giant, armored boar.

"Good there you are. You're late you know."

The figure only grunted in reply.

"Anyway, you and your grunting minions are to set up a patrol or two across this field. _She_ found herself another recruit, and so there's two of them to watch out for now."

Again, the figure only grunted in reply.

"One more thing. Just in case they do make it through and restore the light to Eldin, make sure you set up a good welcome party for them. I do not want them to make it past Kakariko and gain another piece of that _artifact_. Understood?"

This time the figure emitted two short, successive grunts for its response.

"I don't care what you do as long as you do something. Go ahead and take someone hostage if that'll help, even, or especially, if it's one of those brats from Ordon. You could finally find some use for them."

The figure then grunted in an inquisitive tone.

"Do I really have to explain myself to you? I already said I don't care what you do as long as something is done. So for all I care, take a brat, string up said brat like bait in front of our expected prey. Then lure said prey to their demise. _Or_ you could always do something else if the situation requires it. Use that semblance of a brain you have and do something, anything that will prevent them from advancing any further. Beyond that, I don't care what happens to anyone in that village. Do you understand now?"

The figure gave one quick grunt.

"Good. Now go do what you have to."

After his troublesome ordeal of establishing a contingency plan, Zant twirled around once and then vanished into the night sky. Then the figure reached for something at its side and lifted the object up.

A horn blasted out across the quiet field. A smaller horn blast answered in return. Then the figure turned its armored boar around and headed off towards the next region.

"Don't let that goat keep chargin' like that or y'all are gonna crash into…"

_BAM!_

"The water wheel….Hoo, boy. That looked like it hurt."

_CRACK!_

_CREEEAK-BOOM!_

"Dammit. I'm gonna haf'ta fix that to, ain't I?"

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**A/N: Flawless Cowboy 2552: Sorry this took so long, but both me and Jack Falconer completely forgot this story even existed until someone left a random review that popped up on my e-mail. Needless to say, my first reaction was to call up Jack on the phone and get him to send me the latest draft.**

**Credit goes to Jack for writing most of this one.**

**On a side note, we discovered that writing an accent into someone's speech was a grammar-nazi's worst nightmare, since there doesn't seem to be a correct way to do so. anyway onto Jack's notes.**

* * *

**A/N: Jack Falconer: No excuses. Sorry for the inopportune and unannounced hiatus/delay. Unless we ever say otherwise, just assume lack of updates means a hiatus or delay of some sort. We'll make sure you readers know if it's ever otherwise. Onto other matters: yay or nay for attempted dialects in writing? Good or needs improvement?**


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